Episode 62: The Knights of Penance (The Shadowfell Saga with Brennan Lee Mulligan)
The Knights of Penance '''is the sixty-second episode in the series and the fourth episode in The Shadowfell Saga. [[The Band of Boobs|The Band of Boobs]] and Deadeye meet the Knights of Penance, then hatch a plan to save Hardwon. Beverly meets yet another father figure, Moonshine converts to a new religion, and Hardwon loses control. Plot Synopsis The Band of Boobs approach the Church of Penance, a rundown church surrounded by decrepit tombstones and a broken statue. The church is covered with graffiti in some sort of infernal language, Paw Paw wrote a respectful “MO” on top of it. Moonshine tells Deadeye about Paw Paw’s brilliant legal mind and that he would be able to help out if Deadeye has any legal trouble. Thinking about it, Deadeye mentions that he does have a contract with the former lord of Shadowfell that he would love to get out of. The former lord has been killed, and he wants to know if that got rid of his obligation or if it was inherited by the new lord. Instead of listening, Paw Paw starts chewing on his ribs. Deadeye goes on to tell them that the new lord of Shadowfell is Galad Rosell, who he never had an agreement with. The original agreement’s stipulation was that he could never die unless shot with a bullet of a fellow Crick Elf – leading to him avoiding fellow Cricks, though mentions that there’s more than one reason that he’s been avoiding Ol’ Cobb in particular. He was testing a magic gun in Ezry, and the bullet ricochet off the wall and struck him in the skull. Deadeye insists that shouldn’t have counted, despite Paw Paw’s chattering insisting the opposite. Moonshine and Beverly working their way towards the church building, though Hardwon speaks up and says that he thinks he should stay out in the graveyard due to his vampirism. While he doesn’t have any holes, he insists that his skin is a dead giveaway, and that the Revenants may all instantly try to kill him. Deadeye and Balnor stay behind, and Moonshine gives him “Ulfgar Goes Punch” to keep him company. '''Inside the Church The rest of the Boobs enter the Church of Penance, the plan is to approach as if they are “Pelor’s Witnesses”, wearing white shirts and little black ties while holding the book of Pelor in their hands. Inside of the church are broken down pews on both sides, though the nicer ones were dragged towards the front. The windows at the front and sides of the church are boarded up completely. The altar at the front is very well preserved, with an angel statue holding her hands out as if to heal or comfort someone. There is a padded prayer kneeler in front of the altar, with lit candles surrounding it. Between the pews and altar, there are cots and blankets, and there are copper masks hanging on the wall. The two of them notice a large man on his knees, praying at the statue. Without looking up, the man asks “Can I help you travelers?” Moonshine and Beverly say that they’re traveling and asks the man if he heard the good news of Pelor, who has a buffet of infinite shrimp and he’s invited. Without looking back, he says that he knows all about Pelor, and he also heard that three of his friends have been turned to dust tonight, asking if they had anything to do with that. The man then says that they’re spreading lies, falsehoods and sins. Moonshine and Beverly admit that they killed their compatriots, since they met on bad terms, but are looking for penance – the name of the church that they’re in, after all. The man stands up and tells them that he’s proud of them for admitting a wrong, which is a first step. He tells them his name is Bortram, the head of this church, shaking their hands. He is a grizzled old knight with a bushy grey beard and a missing eye, sporting a blue cloak over his rusty breastplate. A great axe wound covers one side of his face, a blow that would have killed him. Bortram starts yelling that he knows all about vampire sympathists, asking if “he’s” out there, implying that he knows about Deadeye. Moonshine tries lying, though Bortram says he knows a lie when he smells one, and tells her to pray to the Dusk Mother. She starts asking the statue for forgiveness, and he starts whispering in her ear in a high-pitched voice that she is forgiven, trying to pretend that he was the Dusk Mother. When caught in his own lie, he starts prostrating in front of the statue. Outside of the church, as they are hearing a bunch of yelling and praises to the Dusk Mother, Deadeye asks Hardwon if Moonshine and Beverly are good at staying on task. Hardwon says that while it will take a while, they’ll get there. Out of the corner of his eye, Hardwon then sees Bortram briefly through one of the boarded windows, pinches Deadeye on the shoulder as his eyes go white, and asks him to take the shot. Deadeye looks at Hardwon and says that he got it, just asks him to stay crouched by the tombstones and that Hardwon should stay away from the door while he sneaks into the church. Deadeye manages to sneak in, putting a finger to his lips as he approaches the others to keep quiet. Moonshine Rapport Spores the four of them so that they can speak in silence. As they pretend to sing praises to the Dusk Mother on the outside, inside their heads Deadeye tells Bortram about Hardwon outside being vampire spawn, and that he seems to be a camera of sorts for the Montgomerys as his eyes went white and issued commands the minute that he saw Bortram. Deadeye then warms Bortram that Hardwon is a friend of theirs and if Bortram lays a hand on him, Deadeye will turn personally turn him into dust. Moonshine then admits that they came to Bortram to try and align with him against the Montgomerys to protect their friend. Bortram says they have a common goal -- that he was sent personally from the Dusk Mother to protect Grimhawk from them, and while it was a lot easier previously, he says that the Montgomery family seemed to have gained a power recently that allowed them to kill revenants permanently. Bortram says that Scarlett should be one of the easiest Montgomerys to take out, and that her, Whalen and Bo are at the Red Fen every night. That is only step one though – their bodies will turn into mist when defeated, and then they have 24 hours to permanently kill Scarlet back at the Montgomery house before her body fully reforms. A New Friend As they talk, Balnor cracks open the door and asks them where Hardwon went. They ran outside and see “Ulfgar Goes Punch” and the Queenshammer on the ground. In the distance, they see a revenant, a burly dwarven dude running towards them. As he approaches, he takes off his mask to reveal that he looks like a dwarven version of Hardwon, except half as tall and almost twice as stout. The BoB have a hard time understanding his name, Jveliin, due to his accent. They finally settle on calling him JV. JV gives them a quick rundown of his backstory -- he says that he’s from the mountains outside of Gladehome and was part of a ragtag group of thieves. He was originally quite a barbarian, though the Dusk Mother was able to calm him down and turn him from a sword to a shield. JV also mentions that he saw a guy matching Hardwon’s description running toward the Red Fen and says that he’ll go after him and kill him, but the Boobs stop him, telling him that was the guy that they were trying to save. They eventually decide just to start a fight at the Red Fen and roll from there, thinking that they will have 24 hours after she is killed to come up with a real plan of attack. As they jog towards the bar, Moonshine turns into a raven with a letter for Scarlet that states that they have a fresh person waiting for her upstairs from Ambrose, and that she is his favorite daughter. As she is flying, Moonshine notices the Montgomerys are walking away from the Red Fen towards the Crimson Hills with a posse of spawns, including Hardwon. Moonshine then lands on Scarlets shoulder and delivers the letter, though the vampire does not buy what the letter says and Moonshine flies away before Scarlet was able to do anything to her. Moonshine then delivers the news to the group, who formulate the plan to cut them off at the pass. Paw Paw comes out of Moonshine’s bib and JV starts freaking out, saying that kind of creature is what killed him. JV tells them that his group of bandits attempted to jump on a pack of elves traveling around Gladehome and was killed by an older elf and possum matching the description of Meemaw and Maw Maw. The others are relieved that the Cricks are safe, with Moonshine going as far as to shed a tear. Battle with the Vampires The Boobs then climb up on a building and leap from rooftop to rooftop, planning to jump the vampires from above. Acting as a coach, Bortram gives Beverly a small talk and a pat on the butt, showing his potential as another father figure. They eventually reach the group of vampires and get the jump on them. Between Beverly, JV and Deadeye attacking, they managed to vaporize Scarlet immediately. Moonshine then grabs Hardwon and polymorphs him into a possum, whipping out a leash to subdue him so that he can stay safe. All of them get into a full fight, trading blows between one another. Moonshine takes some damage, and then tidal waves the group of vampires so that all of the spawns are knocked prone. Getting bit by Whalen afterwards causes Moonshine to lose concentration and Hardwon gets turned back into a person. He lunges at Moonshine to attack, but a flash in his eyes causes him to hesitate at first before finally chomping down on her. After a grueling fight, JV has Whalen down to the wire and throws Paw Paw at his throat to claw at him and finish him off. As Whalen starts turning to mist, he looks over to Deadeye’s direction, telling him that he’s a dead man. Moonshine uses Polymorph to turn Hardwon into a very large possum again, though it does try to bite her as times. After trading blows with the remaining vampire spawn, they look up to the sky and watch the mist slowly make its way back to the Montgomery mansion, cementing themselves as official enemies of the Montgomery family as they start planning their next step of attack. Trivia Quotes * Out of character (maybe?) about Deadeye: "This is honestly gnomish behavior!" – Jake / "Yeah, you kinda gnomed us, dude!" – Emily / "Yeah, you gnomed us, yeah. There's not a meaner thing we could say!" – Jake / "But since you're a problematic sibling, we freakin' love you!" – Caldwell * "Words are basically screams that have been turned into shapes." – Deadeye * "Why are you giving credit to some fucking statue over what we actually did! If you wanna thank somebody, thank Moonshine and Bev! Do you understand how psychotic it is for you to thank a Goddess who hasn't done shit when there's actual people putting their lives on the line for you?" – Deadeye * "I'm not the light in anywhere. I'm the fucking boot in your ass is what I am!" – Deadeye Music/ Sound Effects "Crackling Fire" by sagetyrtle at Freesound.org. "Gutless" by Emily Axford. "The Montgomerys" by Emily Axford. "The Red Fen" by Emily Axford. "The Fat Monk" by Emily Axford. "Sea Beast" by Emily Axford. External Links * Headgum * Spotify * NADDPod Subreddit Thread Category:Episodes Category:The Shadowfell Saga Category:Season 1